I Know I'm Not The Only One
by infinitekitten
Summary: This is a one shot about a girl who falls for Dean and how her life changes and how every little thing he did changed her and sort of broke her but no matter what he did she still loves him. Its based on the song by Sam Smith.


**This is a one shot I wrote inspired by the song I Know I'm Not The Only One by Sam Smith**

We met in a ratty old, smelly bar. It was late at night and sleep wasn't coming to me so, I went out. I was drowning all my regrets and pain in alcohol, trying to forget and it was working for a while but I kept feeling sick to my stomach. I was alone and I didn't want to be alone. I didn't want to go home alone that night. So I got up and went to order another drink to drown my sorrows.

That's when I saw him, he was gorgeous, he had captivating green eyes and he walked with pride. I wasn't going to lie, I was drawn to him. I mean he was beautiful; he looked like he could have been a model or maybe even an actor.

I was about to leave and go back to my lonely table when he looked up at me. His green eyes caught my light hazel ones and he smirked at me. His bright teeth shined at me and I smiled back. He motioned me to come over and I took the risk and I did.

His name was Dean.

* * *

><p><em>You and me, we made a vow<em>

_For better or for worse_

_I can't believe you let me down_

After years of dating, he proposed and I said yes. Everything was perfect, until it wasn't anymore. I knew he was hiding something from me. He would be gone for hours or even days and I wouldn't even say a word. He was everything I needed in life and everything I wanted, so I didn't say a word. I guess it was because I was in love. Or because I didn't want to be alone.

_But the proof's in a way it hurts_

_For months on end I've had my doubts_

_Denying every tear_

_I wish this would be over now_

_But I know that I still need you here_

It hurts so bad. I've never felt this way about anybody, I love Dean and I would do anything for him, but would he do the say for me? It just feels like my whole life is being torn apart. Why does he keep leaving me? Doesn't he know I need him? Doesn't he know I love him? Why doesn't he stay? I spend every day crying and just drowning in alcohol, I wish he would just stay. I want this to be over, but I need him.

_You say I'm crazy_

_'Cause you don't think I know what you've done_

_But when you call me baby_

_I know I'm not the only one_

Every fight we have breaks my heart even more. You yell at me not to worry, that it's all in my head, that I'm crazy. But I know what you're doing; you don't think I can see the blood stained shirts and all the bruises. I know you're doing something bad, but I won't say a word. I know at the end of this you'll call me baby and everything will be alright and I know I am the only one in your life.

_You've been so unavailable_

_Now sadly I know why_

_Your heart is unobtainable_

_Even though Lord knows you have mine_

Are you coming back? Is the question I always ask, I need to know because if you don't tell me, I know I'll go crazy. Please just come back home Dean, can't you see I need you? Why do you sleep so far away from me? Do I disgust you Dean? Do you not love me? Will you ever love me? Just know you have my heart and everybody knows it. I love you so much and I don't care what my mother says, she calls you a pig, but she doesn't know you the way I know you. I know you like the back of my hand.

_You say I'm crazy_

_'Cause you don't think I know what you've done_

_But when you call me baby_

_I know I'm not the only one_

Please don't go I hate it when you leave me Dean. I know I'm not crazy and I know I'm not the only one who believes it. I know what you're trying to do, you're trying to push me away but I won't leave you, I love you. So please call me baby and hold me close and let's go to bed. Dean honey, you are my world, I want you to know that you mean so much to me.

_I have loved you for many years_

_Maybe I am just not enough_

_You've made me realize my deepest fear_

_By lying and tearing us up_

I left you today and I want you to know why. I have loved you for five years and all you did was tear me down. I hope that somewhere deep inside you loved me too. But what happened to you? You've been gone for three months and I don't think you're coming back anymore. I've waited every day for you and stayed up every night, but you didn't even call. Was I not enough?

You made me feel so insecure and so alone. I don't want to feel that anymore. I won't put our baby through that anymore. That's right Dean, our baby I found out the day you left me. Saying that you loved me, that was three months ago. Where did you go?

I hope it's a boy, so he'll look just like you and have the same smile you had when we first met. I also hope it's a boy so he can never be as naïve as I was, he won't be as hurt as I am. He won't ever have to feel insecure because he'll be so beautiful, he might even be a heart breaker like you. I hope it's a boy, but if it isn't, I'll teach her never to stay with a man who is never there.

To stand up if you feel like there's something wrong and to run away and never come back. But then I'll be a hypocrite because I'm still in love with a man who is never there, and I don't ever think I'll get over it.

_You say I'm crazy_

_'Cause you don't think I know what you've done_

_But when you call me baby_

_I know I'm not the only one_

She's a girl Dean and God she is beautiful. She has your amazing eyes and that captivating smile and I just love her so much. She's perfect Dean and I wish you could see her. I named her Mary like your mom, you told me if you ever had a baby girl you would name her that. So I did it in honor of you. It's been so long since I've seen you.

You still haven't called and I still wait up every night waiting for you hoping, praying, begging for you to come back. You were right I am crazy, crazy for you. You made me this way the day you said hello and told me your name. I fell in love with the way you held me and called me baby instead of that car of yours. I loved the way you kissed me and told me everything was going to be alright.

You made me fall in love with every little thing you did. The way you would hum Hey Jude in my ear when I was falling asleep or the way my head fit right under your chin. I just hope I was the only one, I pray I was the only one.

_You say I'm crazy_

_'Cause you don't think I know what you've done_

_But when you call me baby_

_I know I'm not the only one_

_I know I'm not the only one_

_I know I'm not the only one_

_And I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, know_

_I know I'm not the only one_

I finally saw you Dean, you looked just as beautiful as the day we met. You ran into our old house and into our old room as I took my last breaths. You stroked my hair and hummed Hey Jude, I could see the tears in your eyes Dean, you did care and you still do.

I take your warm hand into my cold one and kiss it. I tell you about our beautiful baby girl and how much I love her, she looks like you Dean. I ask you to take care of her because I can't; I'm not going to make it. It hurts so much Dean that I'm not going to see her grow up.

I won't see her go to prom or even get married, but you will. You tell me one last time that you love me and I see you take our baby from her crib and hold her close. You come back to me and sit next to my bleeding body and you tell me I was the only one.


End file.
